On Friday, Super Junior's leader Leeteuk posted a heartfelt message on his official Instagram page. He revealed there are times that he feels depressed, but he expressed his gratitude and love for his fans.
"There are days when hearing the words "You're having a hard time, right?" seem like they'll make you break down in tears.
During rainy days, those type of feelings grow bigger, and there are times when I feel depressed enough to wonder if I'm strange. I understand all of those feelings, and I want to hold you all, but it's such great love and I'm currently lacking so much.
But I'll promise one thing. I won't forget that it's because of you all that I'm able to be in this position right now.
I'm always thankful, and I love you.
I'm suddenly thinking back to what I said in 2005. "Until the day that Pearl Sapphire Blue covers the entire world."
The letter was associated with a photo of a pristine blue sea and a long wooden dining table while a half-full pitcher of tangerine juice sits on it.
In the past, Leeteuk confessed he had struggled from depression as well. He disclosed this following the untimely passing of SHINEE's vocalist Jonghyun, his labelmate and friend. Weeks after the latter took his own life, Leeteuk wrote a lengthy message on his Instagram.
"I don't think there's anyone else who could say that they knew you better and shared everything with you. A person's loneliness, anger, sadness... Whether it was because you had no way to express these things and made your final choice, or whether it's something you wanted to tell the people left behind, I'll have to really ponder over this for a while," the Super Junior member wrote.
Leeteuk went on to express that he regrets not being able to pull him up more when he reached out. He added that Jonghyun appeared in his dreams telling him to lead a happier life before he was sent off.
"I also experienced severe depression, a difficult time where I thought every day that dying would be better than being alive and breathing. In the army, they most likely saw that image of me as someone who was merely pretending, and the gazes of those [who thought that] made it even more difficult. For almost a year, I endured through this difficult time. As someone who's been through such a situation, I think it would've been better if there had been some solution that would have provided even a small way out..."
Leeteuk then hoped everyone's happiness in light of the sense of "Christmas Miracle."
