[Trigger Warning/Content Warning: Mentions of Bullying and Sucide]
On July 3, fans and netizens expressed their worried hearts and sympathy to the former AOA member and actress, Mina, after she opened up about her mental health and what urged her to withdraw from the idol group.
On her Instagram account, Kwon Mina, shared a lengthy message to her followers and fans, revealing her inner feelings and painful past.
"I really, really, really want to go out, but I have to take care of my mother. Oh, I'm going to get a lot of calls again, calling me "brainless." That's right. I haven't learned anything since I was a child properly because I have to make money for my family," she began in her letter.
The idol-actress revealed how she was deprived of doing things that she likes, and she also talked about an unforgettable incident she had with her co-member.
"When I cried in the waiting room after my father's death, an eonnie dragged me to the waiting room closet not to cry because I'm ruining the mood," she revealed.
"I still can't forget that word," she went on, confessing that she even received abusive language from the same AOA member when she was still actively promoting with the group.
"We were in the same car, so we used tranquilizers and sleeping pills to put me to sleep. I had to do my schedule properly, but I felt that I was getting worse. I tried to kill myself because of her. I even thought about extreme attempts," Mina disclosed.
The idol further told her followers, "You don't have to acknowledge me as an idol or an actress, but I was so happy doing it, and I really worked hard."
Then, Mina's pain can be felt as she admitted, "To be honest, I really didn't want to quit AOA, but I've been bullied for ten years because of one person who hates me, and at the end, I want to swear at least once."
Moreover, Mina revealed why she left the group, saying, "I finally gave up on AOA, but I'm really happy to be able to work with them. Just later on, that same person's father died. I knew the pain, and I felt so bad, and I felt weird."
She continued, "The moment she saw me at the funeral, she cried and asked for an apology, and it broke down in vain. My heart... It was just emptied, and the resentment disappeared."
Mina went on with the following statements:
"Vacation period, of course, I expected that we could learn this and that, or treat depression or panic disorder anxiety, but a lot of things happened during the break."
"Honestly, I'm tired. Right, that netizen? Like people say on the Internet, I don't know who I am or what I am, I don't know what I want to be. No one wants to look at me, and no one wants to hear anything about me, but I didn't want to be born. I have a mouth and my hands, but now I can't control myself, and I have to live because of my mom. You don't have to look at me prettily. You don't have to pay me attention. Just a little... Can't you just leave me alone? Because I didn't do anything right."
Due to this, people are sending positive messages to Mina and motivating her to keep going on. At the same time, her fans and other netizens are also assuring her that she has other people she can actually lean on.
View this post on Instagram나도 진짜 너무 너무 꺼지고 싶은데 엄마 돌봐야해서..아 또 무뇌라고 연락들 많이 오겠다 맞아요 나 무뇌 맞고 제대로 배운것도 없어 어릴때부터 집안 사정 때문에 돈 벌어야 했거든 아빠 돌아가시고 대기실에서 한번 우니까 어떤 언니가 니 때문에 분위기 흐려진다고 울지말라고 대기실 옷장으로 끌고 가길래 내가 너무 무섭다고 했어 아빠가 곧 죽을거를 생각하니까 난 아직도 그 말 못 잊어 딴 괴롭힘? 딴 욕? 다 괜찮아 상처지만 같은 차 타는 바람에 나중에는 신경안정제랑 수면제 먹고 그냥 나를 재워버렸어 스케줄 제대로 해야하는데 내가 점점 망가지고 있다는 걸 느꼈어 그 언니 때문에 내가 자살시도도 했었거든 그리고 나 아이돌 그리고 배우 인정 안해줘도 괜찮아 진짜 못해 많이 부족하잖아 근데 나는 하면서 너무 행복했고 정말 열심히 했어 정말 사랑하는 직업이야 일로써 스트레스 한번도 안 받았고 솔직히 AOA탈퇴 정말 하기 싫었는데 날 싫어하는 사람 하나 때문에 10년을 괴롭힘 당하고 참다가 솔직히 끝에는 나도 눈 돌아가서 욕 한번이라도 하고 싶을정도였으니.. 결국 AOA도 포기했어 나는 다른 멤버들과의 활동이 재밌었던 애였거든 근데 얼마전에 그 언니 아버지가 돌아가셨어 마음이 너무 아프고 기분이 이상했어 그 아픔 적어도 나는 아니까..장례식장 갔는데 날 보자마저 울면서 미안하다고 하더라 허무하고 무너져 내렸어 마음이..그냥 비워졌어 원망도 사라지고 다 괜찮아졌는데 내가 너무 고장이 나있어서 무서워 공백기..당연히 예상했지 이것 저것 배우거나 우울증이나 공황장애 불안증 치료 하면되겠다 했어 근데 공백기 동안에도 참 많은일들이 생기더라..솔직히 지쳐 맞아 그 네티즌? 인터넷상 사람들이 하는 말처럼 나도 내가 누군지 모르겠고 뭐하는 애인지 모르겠어 꼴보기 싫고 시끄럽고 듣기 싫어도 나도 내가 태어나고 싶어서 태어난거 아니잖아 나도 입이 있고 손이 있고 이제는 나도 내 자신이 컨트롤이 안되고 나 엄마때문에 살아 살아야지..이쁘게 안봐줘도 되구 관심 안줘도 괜찮으니까 조금만..그냥 내버려두면 안될까? 내가 다 잘 못 했으니까 A post shared by 권민아 우리액터스 actress (@kvwowv) on Jul 2, 2020 at 9:14pm PDT
