[Trigger Warning/Content Warning: Bullying, self-harm, mention of suicide]
In an Instagram post shared on August 6, Thursday, former AOA member Kwon Mina revealed she attempted to take her own life again after seeing a message from FNC Entertainment.
The idol shared a graphic photo of her slashed wrists, which could potentially be triggering for some viewers. The caption of her post reads,
View this post on Instagram그냥 털어놓을께요 아 그전에 팬분들 대중분들 걱정하지마세요 저 제가 정말 좋아하는 화보 촬영도 했구요 이 사진은 최근 FNC관계자 측이랑 카톡하고 벌어진 일이였어요 빌었다는 그 상대방 언니의 입장문에 관계자분께 빌었다니요? 거짓말은 하지 말아야죠 보냈다가 확인해볼께 했다가 한참뒤에 자기 눈에는 그렇게 보였다고 하더라구요 빌려고 온 사람이 눈을 그렇게 뜨고 칼을 찾고 그 말투에 기억이 안난다에 눈은 똑바로 쳐다보고 기억이 안나는게 뭐 사과를 받겠어요 포기지. 아무튼 정말 FNC관계자 분 카톡보고 진짜 황당해서 또 자살시도 했다가 지금 소속사 매니저 동생이 일찍 달려와서 대학병원에 실려갔었어요 하도 많이 그어서 이제는 신경선이 다 끊겨서 마취도 안먹히고 실, 바늘 꿰매는 고통 다 겪으면서 진통제를 넣어주시는데 참 의사선생님들 힘들게 만든다..죄책감 들고 내가 뭐가 좋다고 전 매니저 언니는 계속 보호자로 곁에 있어주고..그리고 그 언니 입장문 끝에는 누가 시켰는지 모르겠지만 민아에개라고 했다가 민아에게 라고 사과로 수정을 했더라구요 우리 집 개한데는 왜 사과를 했더래 연예계 활동 중단이라는 말이 있던데 잠잠해지면 돌아온다는 건가요 저는 그 꼴 못봐요 나는 11년동안 그것보다 넘게 고통 받았잖아요 그 와중에 인스타그램 유튜브 다 있던데..아 저는 있는데 왜 그 소리 하냐궁요..저는 적어도 그 언니한데는 거짓말도 내가 받은 고통 절대 아니 뭔지도 모를거에요 떳떳해요 소설이라는 말도 올렸다가 매니저가 내리라고 해서 내렸고, 약 먹고 잠도 잘 주무시고 에프엔씨 회사는 끝에 그 사람 때문에 힘들다고 했더니 처음엔 정신과 선생님을 붙여주셔서 절 정말 생각해주시나 했어요 근데 그 선생님 저한데 다른 친구 이야기하고 음 정신과 선생님들 다른 인물의 내용을 말하면 불법아닌가요? 누군가에게는 제 이야기를 했을수도 있겠다는 생각이 드네요 저 연습생 빚, 내역 계약서문제 정산문제에 대해서 한번도 불만 토론한적 없어요 시키는 대사 있으면 그것만 했었고 정작 시킨 사람은 솔로 이야기 하던데.,부모님 불러서 우리 딸 뭐 시켜달라 이런말? 우리 부모님은 처음에 왓어야 할때 말고는 오신적도 없고 저도 부모님도 다른 사람들과 단리 불만 토론 한번 한적 없어요 스트레스로 수십번 쓰러지고 아직도 쓰러져요 근데 나을꺼에요 악착같이 나아서 앞만 보고 살려고 노력할거에요 노력하고 있고 근데 FNC라는 회사도 그렇고 그 상대방 언니도 그렇고 진심어린사과 한마디가 그렇게 어려웠던가여? 저 원래 생각도 없었고 밝았고 긍정적이였고 우울증약 수면제약 대인기피증 사회불안증 없었어요 하루에 15시간 자던애가 이제는 한시간이면 깨요 모두들 잘 지내시죠? 큰 회사에 저 하나 뭐 신경쓰이시겠어요 신경쓰이셨으면 연락한번이라도 오셨었겠죠 저 또라이 저 미친X 이렇게 생각하실까봐 두려워요 진심어린 사과 타이밍은 어차피 놓쳤고, 이제 저 같은 사람 안나오게 연습생들 소속 가수들 배우들 선배님들 한분 한분 진심으로 생각해주시고 챙겨주세요 누구때문에 재계약 못한다고 했을때 먼저 뭐가 어떤 상황이고 얼마나 힘든지를 먼저 물어봐주세요 다음 행사와 광고 때문에ㅇㅇㄱ얘기 먼저 하시지 마시구, 재계약금은 “너의 정신적 비용으로 주는게 아니잖니?” 라는 회장님 말 맞아요 옳아요 그래서 그건 다 드렸고 저는 아직도 사실 많이 힘들어요 그런데 응원해주시는분들도 많구요 지금 소속사 식구분들은 저를 사람으로써 먼저 생각해주시거든요 그래서 많이 힘이되요 유튜브에서 어떤 분이 제 팔목을 보고 민아에게는 관심이 필요한 것 같다 관심을 받고 싶어한다는 것 같다는 식으로 말씀하신분이 있는데 제 3자가 보시면 충분히 그러실 수 있어요 얼마나 이상한 아이 같겠어요 하지만 전 정말 아주 작은 일부분만 얘기한거구요 11년째 친한친구한데도 가족한데도 제대로 물론 지금까지두여 말 못 했던거 세상에 말하게 된거는 관심 받고 싶어서 아 물론 관종 맞아요 하지만 이번일로 뭐 관심? 아뇨. 뭐 하나 말해드릴까요 관심받고 싶으면 죽고싶다 자해로도 끝낼 수 있어요 근데 전 정말 죽으려고 몇번이나 시도 했어요 이러면 안되는데 절 살려주러 온 사람들이 원망스러울 정도로 힘들고 죽고싶었어요 우리 가족들이 이제 무섭대요 울어요 제가 실려가고 피투성이로 기절되있고 손목은 갈라져있지 우리 가족은 무슨 죄야.. 정말 억울하고 화가나고 잠도 못자고 왜 제가 피해를 계속 보고 있는지 누구에게 털어놔야 하는지 누구에게 이 망가진 나를 보상받아야 하는지 그리고 앞으로 저 같은 사람이 없었으면 좋겠어요. A post shared by 권민아 우리액터스 actress (@kvwowv) on Aug 5, 2020 at 4:07pm PDT
"I need to let this out. Before anything, to my fans and the public, please don't be worried. I just did a photo shoot that I really enjoyed. This is happening because of something that transpired with an FNC Entertainment official on KakaoTalk.
The unnie that they said would be apologizing when she came in, was she really apologizing to the person she was supposed to? Don't spread lies. After apologizing, they said they would look into it. After that, they said she was begging for an apology?
If the person who had come to apologize has her eyes that wide open and is looking for a knife, even if I can't remember the way they had talked to me, I cannot forget those eyes, what kind of apology would I accept there? I gave up on it,
Anyways, I was shocked to see a message from an FNC Entertainment official, so I tried to take my own life again, but my manager's younger sibling stopped me and took me to a university hospital. I cut myself so much at this point that I have lost all the nerves on my wrist, so they did not give me anesthesia and they just stitched me up with a needle and thread. They gave me some painkillers to help endure the pain, and the doctors had a hard time. It made me feel guilty. What do you like about me? My previous manager is still hanging around me, as if they were my guardian...
At the end of that unnie's stament, I do not know what pushed her to do it, but she changed her apology from 'to Mina' to 'an apology to Mina'. Why is it as if she is apologizing to my dog? She said she would retire from the entertainment industry but it seems as if she will just bounce back when things quiet down. I can see it happening. I suffered for more than 11 years. But all over Instagram and YouTube... people are asking why am I like this? At least I did not lie to her, yet she says she does not know what I have been through. I have nothing to hide.
She posted that it was 'fiction', but her manager swooped in and told her to take it down. My manager told me to take some medicine and have a good sleep, and FNC Entertainment said they were having a hard time because of that person. They provided me with a psychiatrist and I wondered if they genuinely did care about me, but is it not illegal for them to talk about me to their friends and to others? I think they told my stories to other people. I never complained about my debt as a trainee, my contract, or payment issues. I only spoke about the things I were asked to answer, but that person who asked is speaking about it on their own. What do you want my parents to say to their daughter after being called in? My parents only came the first time and never came again and unlike other, we have not heard any complaints.
I have fainted out dozens of times from stress and I still pass out, but I will work to getting better and living my life. I am working hard on that, but whether it be because of FNC Entertainment or that unnie, is it that hard to give a sincere, honest apology? I was once a person who did not think that much and was bright and happy, yet now I am depressed, I have social anxiety, and I take sleeping pills. I used to sleep for 15 hours and day, and now I can only manage to sleep for an hour.
Are you living well? I am sure you don't care about me over their in your big company. If you cared, then you would have at least contacted me at least once. I fear you think I have gone psycho or I'm a crazy bitch. Anyways, you already missed the right timing or a sincere apology, so please take care of your current trainees, actors, and the seniors so no one ends up like me. When someone say they do not want to renew their contract because of someone, you should ask them what's wrong, what is difficult? Do not just tell me about the next event or the next CF. When were were discussing contract renewals, the CEO said, "You aren't paying for your psychological expenses, right?" So I paid for it all.
Until now, I am having a hard time, but there are also lots of people cheering me on. The staff at my current agency look at me as a person, so I am very encouraged. There is someone on YouTube who saw me cut my wrist and said I was just looking for attention. If the person who is saying that is a third party, then sure, they can say what they want, because it must look odd as an outsider. But I've only said a small fraction of what I had endured for the past 11 years, there are things I haven't told my friends of 11 years and things I haven't told even my family. Yes, I want attention, you're right, I'm an attention seeker, but do you even have interest in me? Let me tell you this. If you want attention, you should want to die. You can kill yourself with self-harm. I have tried many many times to end my life. I feel resentful towards those who say I shouldn't do this, and came to save me when everything was hard and I wanted to die. My family is scared and crying, wondering what sins my family had done to have me passed out and taken away with slashed and bloody wrists.
I am upset, angry, and I cannot even sleep. Why am I still the one hurt, who should I confess to? Who should pay for ruining me? I hope there won't be anyone who ends up like me in the future."
Mina revealed that she left AOA due to the bullying she received by a member, to which Mina at first did not name. Former AOA member and leader Jimin then posted the word "Fiction" on her Instagram Story, subtly stating that Mina's words were all false. This led Mina to reveal the member who bullied her was Jimin and that she endured a lot of pain during her time with the group.
Mina also revealed that when her father passed away, she made sure she could complete activities, taking minimal days off to mourn, and to not ruin the mood of the group so that she could not anger Jimin. But when it was the latter's father who passed away, all of Jimin's activities were canceled and her family had the VIP room in the hospital.
AOA members and their manager went to visit Mina with the intentions of apologizing. However, Jimin allegedly acted inappropriately, threatening to kill herself while wielding a knife and then ultimately giving Mina an insincere apology, per Mina's words. Jimin then went on Instagram to say she apologized and had begged for Mina's forgivenes, to which Mina refused, saying that Jimin's apology was insincere and she was instead gaslighted her by saying she does not recall any of the harassment. Mina included that all of the people at her house, the AOA members and FNC Entertainment managers and staff, had sided with Jimin.
FNC Entertainment eventually announced that Jimin was dismissed from the group and would retire from the entertainment industry.
