'Love & Hip Hop New York' Star Cyn Santana Uses Instagram To Lobby For Suicide Awareness; Admits Ex Erica Mena And Bow Wow's Engagement 'Bit Difficult'

"Love & Hip Hop New York" star Cyn Santana made good use of her Instagram to advocate suicide awareness, as she admitted in another interview that finding out about ex Erica Mena and Bow Wow's engagement was difficult.

Earlier, she posted a photo on her Instagram where she's sitting down on an altar dedicated to his brother with the following message, "This thanksgiving isn't the same for me. Instead of eating with my entire family... we are mourning the loss of my brother. I lost my older brother to suicide... This feels so surreal. my heart hurts. I never knew this pain existed. I don't wish this on anyone."

The "Love & Hip Hop New York" star added, "I'm not posting this for pity.. I just REALLY need you guys to be thankful and appreciate your loved ones... Say I love you while they are still here. Not just today but EVERYDAY, cherish your loved ones... Please remind them what they mean to you. I didn't say goodbye the way I would have wanted to...I love you Joel.. You had no idea how much. I know you are now at peace..... There's always someone there to listen. Suicide is NOT the answer... Suicide hotline: 1-800-784-2433."

In another post, she wrote about the regret she feels for not saying "I love you" to her brother enough.

"I feel guilty.. so I turn to social media to show my love for you.. To show the world that I love you and that I'm sorry this happened to you.. But then I press post and realize this doesn't mean anything. You're not coming back. And you left this world without knowing how much I really did love you. But I then realize that this simple post can do something because someone right now is going through what you went through. Someone right now is going to read this and realize suicide is not the answer.. And in your memory I will help those in need," she added.

Aside from her brother's suicide, "Love & Hip Hop New York" star Cyn Santana was also dealing with another heartbreak following her split from Erica Mena and the way she learned of her engagement to Bow Wow, whose real name is Shad Moss.

"I was actually at a bar with one of my best friends and somebody sent me a picture, the screenshot of I think it was her hand on his and like a paragraph, 'I'm sorry,' you know.. I didn't understand it. I didn't understand the picture and then of course you get on Twitter and everyone's writing to you and telling you," Cyn Santana told VH1.

"It was a bit difficult. I was confused. I was confused for a long time... For a few days," the "Love & Hip Hop New York" star revealed.