There are several secret ingredients to the recipe of true happiness: quinoa, salmon, dark chocolate, turnip greens, and good friends. Research has shown that a heightened sense of community, being around other people, helping others, and hearing somebody laugh can make you a happier and healthier person. Moreover, when you are in a group of friends, you even look better without having to do anything. This phenomenon is called "hierarchical encoding" or "the cheerleader effect." So, as you can see, having friends is beneficial to your physical and mental health, self-esteem, and social image.
Finding friends can become a number one task on your to-do list if you are a college student: away from home, we are especially vulnerable in social terms and need support more than ever. We desperately want to hear somebody by our side laugh at our jokes. We want to feel happy. You can easily buy such happiness boosters as quinoa, salmon, dark chocolate, and turnip greens at a supermarket, but there is, unfortunately, no specialized shop with a wide selection of potential pals. The good news is that there are ways to help you find friends in college. The tips we are offering are not just abstract "be yourself" talk, they are tried and tested guidelines. So, read on and get ready to make friends!
1. Say, "Thank you!"
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Dr. Laura Trice, a therapist and a life coach, advises everyone to defeat their shyness by saying the magical words, "Thank you!": this simple gesture can help you make new friends, deepen an existing relationship, or make it up with your old pal. In most situations, there is room for an expression of gratitude or words of appreciation. The only secret to this helpful practice is to be specific and genuine. When thanking people, try to be precise about what you are thanking them for and do not forget to look them in the eye.
In his book Thanks A Thousand, the New York Times bestselling author A.J. Jacobs bemoans his grumpy character saying that gratitude is not an emotion that comes easily to him. So, to learn to be thankful, Jacobs developed a great strategy: he decided to thank all the people involved in the preparation of his morning coffee - from the farmers to the barista. This experiment has completely changed his personality. If you want to experience the transformative power of "Thank you!" you can start with librarians, cashiers, baristas, and waiters. Take a minute, look them in the face, say the words of gratitude with a sincere smile, and wait for the magic to happen.
2. Pay a Compliment!
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An educator and TED speaker Cheryl Ferguson offers helpful advice on how to praise people in such a way that they feel pleased and inspired rather than awkward or suspicious. The main rule is not to content yourself with a faceless remark that sounds trite and generic. When you want to say "Good job!" or "You look nice!" stop and think about what precisely you are praising. The best compliments follow three simple rules. First, use the name of the person you are talking to. Secondly, if you do not want to make your words sound half-hearted, be specific. Point out the detail you have paid attention to: a brilliant answer in a recent seminar, stylish earrings, or funny doodles in the margins - anything you genuinely like will do the trick. Try to explain why you like it and how it makes the other person stand out. To crown it all, come up with a question that will prove you are really interested. Ask about the origin of the fancy earrings or the book your fellow student used to get ready for the seminar. And, most importantly, do not run away before hearing out the answer.
3. Use the Campus to Your Advantage!
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If you want to succeed in making new friends, you have to do what you can where you are. So, while you are on college premises, make use of this territory rich in young people looking for friends as eagerly as you are, take off your headphones and talk to the folks around you. Hang out in the common rooms of your dorm, attend campus events, do extracurricular activities, enroll in a club, and chat with other students over a meal. If you need time for these fun and useful pursuits, but your homework is hanging over your head like the sword of Damocles, you can always order an essay from essayservice.com/do-my-essay and use it as a sample to make your life easier. So, get out of your dorm room, be friendly, do small-talk, ask questions, and listen to the answers.
4. Remember, Classes Rule!
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Do not forget that the classes you are taking are good not only for turning you into a qualified professional. They can also provide you with an excellent opportunity to meet your soul mates. After all, young people attending the same class as you are likely to be interested in the same subject and this will certainly help you find common ground with them. You can start a conversation while waiting for your professor or after class. Introduce yourself and do your best to actually remember the names of the other students. Try discussing the highlights of the previous lecture or the related materials you have found online. Ask your fellow students what they think. Do not be afraid of looking weird: being smart is definitely the thing these days.
5. Get ready to Be a Good Friend!
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If you met your own exact copy, would you like to be friends with this person? I hope you have answered in the affirmative because the main secret to making friends is your own readiness to be a good friend. Be prepared to make space in your life for your new pals. Put down your phone, look around and smile. Prioritize real friendships over your social media obsession. Remember, one-on-one time is essential. Try to be a good listener. And, finally, be yourself, but be your best self. You do not have to fake anything or to wear a mask; this will not help anyway. But be aware that any relationship requires work. So, if you want to have good friends, become a good friend first.
