T.O.P finally broke his silence in a tell-all interview on January 15, shedding light on his "Squid Game 2" role and isolative years, among others.
In his exclusive interview with The Korea Times, the former BIGBANG member talked about playing Thanos in the chart-topping Netflix series.
"The character mirrored my past, reflecting aspects I'd rather keep hidden," he said, adding that it was a "daunting proposition" that made him initially hesitate.
"But destiny seemed to be pulling me in this direction," T.O.P added.
The rapper revealed it was director Hwang Dong Hyuk who first reached out to him, for which he was grateful and motivated to excel in his performance.
"The trust (and) the belief he had in me gave me the courage to take this on," he said. "As an actor, it is my duty to repay the trust."
T.O.P reveals he has written many songs while living almost isolated from society for the past seven years:
— About Music (@AboutMusicYT) January 15, 2025
"For the past seven years, I have lived almost isolated from society, spending most of my time at home and in my music studio. So I just kept working on music in the dark… pic.twitter.com/SRZcf3suYD
During the interview, T.O.P recounted his 30s as a "lost time," a chapter of his life steeped in relentless introspection and self-loathing. He opened up about this period when the conversation shifted to his surprising decision to retract his planned retirement in 2020.
Recalling, the idol-actor still participated in BIGBANG's 2022 hit single, "Still Life."
"For the past seven years, I have lived almost isolated from society, spending most of my time at home and in my music studio," he said, adding that music-making was his means to cope.
"So I just kept working on music in the dark and the reason I did that was not for any other reason, but because music was the only place where I could breathe, when I was composing music and standing in front of the microphone. I think I made music to survive."
"So I wrote a countless number of songs, just by listening to my own dark heart and inner turmoil. I wanted to heal myself through music and I want to share that music with my fans in some way."
As he nears his 40s, the "Turn It Up" rapper hopes for a "less dramatic life." Having been in the turbulent entertainment industry for over two decades, T.O.P now seeks a life that's calm and ordinary.
"I want to reach a point where I can wake up without being bombarded by negative news and feel more at peace," he said.
