Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have a "no secrets " policy with their children. There are no secrets when it comes to telling their children what is going on with Angelina Jolie and her cancer woes.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the most famous couple on the planet and their children will inevitably find out about Angelina's Mastectomy and the recessive cancer gene. So is it better to be honest and keep no secrets from even the smallest children? Yes.

Brad Pitt talked about how they explained Angelina's surgery to their six children.

"We have a policy in our family, no secrets," he shared. "I mean, there's an age of understanding, so you've got to present it in a way that is age appropriate, but we know our children very well. We want everything to be on the table and any questions they have, for them to ask."

On May 14, Jolie announced she had been diagnosed with a mutated BRCA1 gene predisposing her to cancer and had undergone the preventive mastectomy on Feb. 16 and reconstructive surgery on April 27.

The actress said that she discovered that she had an 87% chance of developing breast cancer and a 50% risk of getting ovarian cancer. Post surgery, Jolie said her risk of developing breast cancer has dropped remarkably. "I think the world of her, she is an amazing woman," Pitt said of Jolie. "

"I can tell my children that they don't need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer," she said about telling her children about her mastectomy.

"I do not feel any less of a woman, I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity." Jolie said.
On the red carpet Jolie told the BBC (the British Broadcasting Channel) she's "feeling fine" and she's grateful for all the support.

"I've been very happy just to see the discussion about women's health expanded and that means the world to me. After losing my mom to these issues, I'm very grateful for it and I've been very moved by the support from people." She said.

The actress also recently lost her aunt, Debbie Martin, 61, to ovarian cancer.  Anglelina's mother, 56, passed away breast cancer. Angelina has also kept no secrets from her children about the tragic deaths of her most beloved relatives.

So is it a good idea to have a "no secrets" policy in the household even when it comes to very small children? Psychologist agree that being honest with your children is much better than lying. Here's why:

Healthy families are built on sharing and trust, not on secrecy and hiding.  Your adult children want to know what you're going through. They want to share in your pain as well as your joy-be part of the process, in other words. Sharing your worry with them brings you closer and demonstrates that you feel their thoughts and prayers are important. Assuming good news, they can share in your relief.

Children often overhear conversations they're sure their parents aren't aware that they're party to. When I suggest the children bring up the topic, they're afraid, as they have been trained in keeping secrets by the very people whose secret they just uncovered.

The issue of overhearing applies to much younger children as well. What is the age at which a child should be informed of parental crises-say, sickness, job loss, impending divorce, bankruptcy, or public disasters such as school shootings?  The family systems experts provide an excellent rule of thumb: if your children are going to get the information elsewhere-either from overhearing the parents or from an outside source- tell yourself first.

And as for celebrities Brad and Angie, their children will indisputably find out from outside sources any issues going on about their parents. So in their extreme case, honesty is the only policy. And is always is. 

Why? First, it builds trust. Your child should know that if her parents seem to be fine, they are in fact fine. That their life is not a false illusion of security. Second, you get first-mover advantage. You can tell the story the way you want your kids to hear it, and you can answer questions and become aware of their fears. Instead of being shut out of each others' lives during hard times, you will become closer and more supportive. You can dispel rumors and mis-information.

If your child is 3, she can hear in simple words that mommy and daddy are worrying about money or that mommy has been feeling sick lately.  Certainly, middle school children should be informed. Tell your story simply, don't give too many details, and wait for questions. You may be surprised at what your child already knows or at the mis-information that she thinks she knows.