Courtney Stodden is kind of an incredible character. Like....seriously.

Stodden, 18,  starred on Celebrity Big Brother, and famously married then 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchinson at 16. The goodness has just continued on from there.

Between the sex tapes, the eight-inch heels, and the child marriage, there's just so much to love about Courtney Stodden. We've compiled her five most "sexy"/insane/horribly mis-spelled Tweets for your viewing pleasure (ahem, horror).

Without further ado, witness intellect, wit, and narrative craft at work:

1)- "While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistaby all over my moisty body."

2) - "As I soak up the last bit of heat out here on my sun-glazed patio in a cheeky bikini, my entire body IGNITES with desire for a steamy night!"

3) - "Experiencing such a wet 'n wild afternoon by turning on a water hose and squirting it all over my heated flesh! Mmm feeling rejuvenated! XOs"

4) - "While Doug prepares a delicious din-din, I arouse his appetite by shakin it on the kitchen coutner to "Car Candy" ... Just doin' my job! ;-)"

5) - "Softly kissing my exhilarated body with God's sweet suns beaming warmth and it's touchable light. Mmm this is stimulating! :-)"

Wow. Just....wow.

What do you think? Is your life improved forever? Sound off in the comments below!